Sunday 16 February 2014

...polite and considerate


Being polite and considerate, all the time, is not the easiest thing in the world to do. By the time you've become an adult, you no longer have a parent or guardian following you round everywhere reminding you to say 'Please' and 'Thank you' two seconds before you actually have the chance.* If you're not careful, it can also be very easy to over-do politeness, so that people can begin to think you're mocking them or after something.

When I was about 15, I went to stay with a penpal in France as part of a school exchange programme. While I was there, I got the distinct impression that my penpal wasn't interested in having a small, shy English penfriend, and would have preferred someone more outgoing and chatty. By the time I arrived home, my parents had received an email from my penpal's parents telling them how rude and inconsiderate I was, and that they would not be sending their daughter to stay with me. At the time, I had some, but by no means fluent French. The family was loud and boisterous, and my penpal was inclined to ignore the very quiet English girl who'd been plonked in their midst. (For those of you who think that I could never be that shy, believe me - at 15, in a strange country - I really was). Politeness and consideration go two ways, like respect and friendship. If someone appears to be being rude, don't just assume their trying to upset you or that they have no manners. They may be embarrassed to speak a language their unfamiliar with or struggle to understand. They may have other issues to deal with that you don't know about. Don't be insulted - try to work with them instead.


*My mum still does this whenever I go home or am in her company for more than five minutes. I'm sure that if I ever have kids, I'll do exactly the same.

No comments:

Post a Comment