...polite and considerate

Being polite and considerate, all the time, is not the easiest thing in the world to do. By the time you've become an adult, you no longer have a parent or guardian following you round everywhere reminding you to say 'Please' and 'Thank you' two seconds before you actually have the chance.* If you're not careful, it can also be very easy to over-do politeness, so that people can begin to think you're mocking them or after something.

When I was about 15, I went to stay with a penpal in France as part of a school exchange programme. While I was there, I got the distinct impression that my penpal wasn't interested in having a small, shy English penfriend, and would have preferred someone more outgoing and chatty. By the time I arrived home, my parents had received an email from my penpal's parents telling them how rude and inconsiderate I was, and that they would not be sending their daughter to stay with me. At the time, I had some, but by no means fluent French. The family was loud and boisterous, and my penpal was inclined to ignore the very quiet English girl who'd been plonked in their midst. (For those of you who think that I could never be that shy, believe me - at 15, in a strange country - I really was). Politeness and consideration go two ways, like respect and friendship. If someone appears to be being rude, don't just assume their trying to upset you or that they have no manners. They may be embarrassed to speak a language their unfamiliar with or struggle to understand. They may have other issues to deal with that you don't know about. Don't be insulted - try to work with them instead.


*My mum still does this whenever I go home or am in her company for more than five minutes. I'm sure that if I ever have kids, I'll do exactly the same.

...a good friend and sister to all Guides.

Despite the fact that this blog has taken longer than planned, this post has fallen at a really good time. In two weeks it will be Thinking Day (22nd February). This is a time when members of the Guiding movement around the world remember that they are part of a global network. Money is often raised to help less advantaged Guides, and donated to the Friendship Fund: http://www.girlguiding.org.uk/get_involved/support_us/girlguiding_uk_funds/guide_friendship_fund.aspx

So that's the world view. But what about closer to home? For one thing, to take this Law literally, it means we have to make sure that we treat every other girl and woman as if they are a Guide. Unless we are in uniform, there's pretty much no way to tell who's a Guide and who isn't. When the Law was first written, members of the movement very often wore their Promise badges in public, but that's much rarer. So that means that we should treat other girls and women with respect, friendship, and kindness. We also have to be prepared to help those in need.

So those are the high ideals. Really, we shouldn't be so specific about treating Guides with this level of deference and excluding Scouts, and men and boys generally. However, this Law is a really good tool if you happen to be a Guide Leader whose Guides have problematic behaviour. It's a message to which you can point to say to the girls, "You promised to behave well towards your fellow Guides". It can also be a starting point when thinking about issues like bullying or friendship generally.

So how do I try to be a good friend and sister to all Guides? At the moment my actions are quite limited. I run a Unit to the best of my abilities and try to provide an engaging, safe, supportive space for my girls, young leaders, and fellow leaders. I try to give them as many opportunities as I can. I try to make them aware of the difficulties other Units in the UK and abroad face, financially and practically. There's always more that can be done.